Now that Emmett has a "to do" list we have less time to blog. Well, that's not true. I really don't have any excuses except that I'm running my own business and caring for an entire child on my own. :) So now that I'm a veteran mom (ha!) I have noticed some things. Most of these things have to do with strangers. Once you have a baby - people think it's okay to come up and talk to you and make comments (welcomed or not). So whenever Emmett and I step out the door and brave the crazy world this is the conversation that takes place at least once.
Karen & Emmett: Doo, doo, doo...I'm shopping and enjoying this lovely day.
Stranger: Why hello there! Who is this?
Karen: This is Emmett.
Stranger: Is Emmett a boy or girl?
Karen: (Thinking to myself. Um. HIS name is Emmett. And Emmett is wearing blue and brown. What do you think idiot?) But I say, "He's a boy."
Stranger: Oh my! What a cutie. How old is he?
Karen: He's almost 8 months now.
Stranger: Wow!! He's so big.
Karen: (I am thinking...do you even know what a 8 month old should look like?) Yeah. I feed him pork rinds and buttermilk daily. Okay. I don't say that. I say, "Yeah - his daddy is pretty tall."
Stranger: Proceeds to play with Emmett to get him to smile. Emmett usually indulges them with a few giggles and smiles. Then the stranger says, "Oh no! Why is he crying?"
Karen: He's not crying. (you idiot. He's obviously smiling at you). He has long eyelashes that get in his eyes. He has been blessed and cursed by his beautiful eyelashes. They are so long that they irritate his eyes and make them tear up.
Stranger: Oh. I hope it doesn't hurt him. Will he grow out of it?
Karen: No. Haven't you heard of the blind eyelash syndrome? Once he turns 3 years old his eyelashes get so long that they start attacking his cornea thus blinding him.
End Scene.
Can you tell that I am annoyed? Should I just stick a sign on him that says, "I'm not crying. My mom cursed me with these almond shape eyes and my dad blessed me with these luscious eyelashes."?
I know, I know. I just need to get over it. Or never take Emmett out to the public. Hmmm....such a tough choice.
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5 comments:
An ENTIRE child all on your own? You amaze me, Karen. Haha. How many girls have you ever met named Emmett? I have met zero.
I like that I don't have to lift a finger. After I gave the eyelashes I'm in margaritaville.
Loving all the videos. He definately has gotten the hang of eating!!! Isn't it great!! Every day is new and exciting. It is so great you are documenting everything so well. Real treasures.
Karen, do you speak Chinese? Because this conversation could have ended quickly like so:
Stranger: Why hello there, who is this?
Karen: Ching chong ching chong ching chong ching chong.
Stranger: ::awkward:: okay bye! (and if you live in Castro Valley, probably something racist under her breath)
By the way, I didn't know Emmett had a blog!
::bookmarks page::
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